I used to think that I need to find a young man with a Modern Orthodox background. Only someone coming from the more open minded world would be able to accommodate my need for freedom and expression.
There are two people who I have been privileged to meet recently. They showed me that it is not necessarily the garb, the label, the black hat that defines a persons' outlook on life, but rather it is his essence, his character and personality.
The first is my professor of Psychology. Religiously a Chassidic Jew, he earned his PhD in psychology, and is one of the most fascinating teachers and role models I have ever had. He has a solid knowledge of Torah and is confident to explore ideas that are not mainstream.
The second is a young man I met recently. He wore a black hat and white shirt. He was truly brilliant, kind, caring and confident. I spoke of ideas that many people would be scared to discuss. This man was sure enough of himself not to feel threatened and discussed things in a way which impressed me beyond means.
In Avoth, the Sages teach: Al tistakel bekankan lea beam sheyesh bo. Do not look at the bottle, but rather at what it contains.
It is a challenge for me to see a person and not to pass judgment. I have what to work on.
So my question is: What are the labels, why do people choose one kippah over another? Because that is how they were raised, because that is the one that was on sale in the store?
