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Here is a rundown of some of the funniest (saddest?) date stories I have heard over the past few days.
Please share comments and stories of your own.
1) The guy who wore a plastic bag over his black hat during the date. To make it worse, he offered me a plastic bag to put on my own head.
2) The guy who was relatively quiet during the date, and then I realized that he fell asleep. Right there. Right then.
3) The guy who spent 95.9% of the date telling me how much he loved chazzanus and eventually burst into a deep baritone opera-like chazzanus in the middle of the streets of NYC. I did not know where to bury myself.
4) The guy who kept on insisting that I had an Acthent (accent) while he had a lithp (lisp).
5) The guy who tried to explain to me that he has to tell a woman she is not like everyone else to get from her what he wants from everyone else.
6) The guy who told me he needs a girl stupid enough to laugh at his jokes and smart enough not to embarrass him in public. Rather than running in the other direction, I was sitting there trying to figure out if I fit his criteria.
7) The guy who tried to get me onto food stamps during the date.
8) The guy who dumped me and told me to date guys and say no to everyone. Um, are you really telling me what to do?
9) The guy who ignored every one of my most subtle hints to end a date: It's late, -yawn-, Oh My Gosh So Late, -bigger yawn-... the date went on forever.
10) The guy who spoke for three hours straight and then asked if I have any questions...
*Disclaimer: All the stories happened to me or someone I know. I used the "I" for uniformity.
