Grizzly Bear, this is MY Territory!

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Grizzly bear, this is my territory!

I'm a new girl in a very strange place thinking about how it's hard to establish my place...

As a newcomer to a neighborhood that is famous for its disproportionate single population and transient nature, it is normal for me to feel disoriented at times.

Like the time when I walk into Shul on Friday night and am completely overwhelmed by the hundreds of people crowding in the two cubic feet between the entrance and the hallway chattering excitedly about absolutely nothing.

Or the time when I enter a gathering with one friend I know, and realize that she knows everyone else present and I do not.

Or... the times when I bump into guys I dated on every single block I walk.

Now do not get me wrong. There are guys I dated and then there are guys I DATED...

The ones that I was sort of friendly with where the relationship ended in a nice “it's not me it's you” kind of way, in a “two great shoes just not a pair” sort of way. These guys are great. Totally polite, can eventually become friends and great people to know.

However, there are the other kind of guys. Those who are the “we broke up, please die because I never want to see you again” type of gentlemen, and they are the ones I do not want to see everywhere I go.

Mother nature has it that I bump into the second category of guys at every possible juncture almost every possible day.

One particular such individual... let us call him Schnuk, happens to be one of those “I wish you were dead” individuals. Now when we pass each other and just smile it is not exactly the end of the world.

However, there are incidents as the one I am about to describe where a young woman like me has no choice but to put her foot down and stand up for her rights of survival.

So this Schnuck was in my building visiting some friends. He sees me, and most obnoxiously asks: “What are you doing here?” I am surprised, to say the least, at this question. I mean why does Schnuck feel he has a right to make me feel uncomfortable in my own four walls. And then as I was leaving I said good bye for super politeness reasons and because I do not want to accrue any more enemies than I have already. And he, that Schnuk of a man, ignores me. You hear me? Ignores me. I mean who the Gehinom does he think he is to ignore me like that.

I stampede off in anger and head straight to the gym where I burn off so many calories that the machine cannot keep up with me anymore.

This is a disgrace. How could I let myself be spoken to in such a manner?

Because it is one thing if I have a big strong husband behind me who would beat the brains out of any person who dares look in my direction in a way that could be interpreted as offensive. It is another thing, if I am a little Jewish girl all alone in this world with no one to stand up for me.

This is it. I made my decision. I will tolerate no such behavior. And one who talks to me in such a way will have to pay for it dearly.

I must establish my borders. I must stand up when necessary and say: "Grizzly Bear, this is MY territory!"

So I call a good friend of mine in the gun business and I place an order. Okay, that was a joke.

But I awaken the bear within me and put the sweet fragile girl that I am into slumber for a little while and I do log onto facebook find that embarrassment of a person whose tzelem Elokim left him back in the day and write him a message entitled: Do Not Do That Again.

Hi Schnuk,
It seems I will be seeing you around.
Please... do not make it awkward. Do not ask me what I am doing in this neighborhood anymore and do not ignore me when I say good bye.
A nice hello and good bye would be polite and sufficient.
I appreciate your understanding.
Tania

He responded with apologies.

Tania,

For sure, my apologeeezz....sorry, didn't mean to ignore you.
All the best!

Scnuk. 

I hope he learns his lesson. Because if not, I almost feel bad for him.