Jan 17, 2012

Wishful Thinking: Male Female Relationships

Image: http://www.profilebrand.com


I walked into a room where a young man and woman were in the middle of a cozy conversation in the late hours of the night. They were not dating each other. 
I felt uncomfortable, but they were sweet and invited me to join the conversation. 
The guy asked me the following question which I am now passing on to you. 

"Do you think it is beneficial for a woman to have an emotional and possibly physical relationship with a guy whom she has zero chances of marrying while dating other people?"

I was blown away by the question. Seriously?!

I mean, maybe there is some fringe benefit to having a relationship if you never had one before, but the costs outweigh the benefits by tons, so if someone really needs help, they should go see a therapist.

As it is, in so many relationships people end up breaking up, people should now also get into relationships which will for sure never work out?

And besides, it has to be unhealthy to open up to someone knowing there are no chances at all. Sounds to me like a bunch of messed up cases.

And never while you are dating other guys!

The guy was looking at me as if I'm the most close minded fafrumpte fachneukt that ever existed. He said: "You clearly don't have guy friend who you hang out with a lot one on one."

"I clearly don't", I said. "When I do hang out with someone, it always gets to a point where we have to stop and decide if we are dating or not."

He asked: "And you don't think you can have a relationship with someone you won't end up marrying and truly like them?"

I responded: "That is precisely why people date for a while-because they like each other, and why they break up-because they won't end up marrying each other. That is why break ups hurt so much. Because there is a connection which isn't meant to last."

I have to mention that the guy asking this question was one who is in no position to marry, and all the girls he wants to date would never date him, so there he is, making up theories so that quality girls will have relationships with him. He could "help them" open up emotionally and physically and prepare them for marriage. Uhuh, so much for your wishful thinking, tzaddikel.

What do you think?