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| Image: whitcoulls.co.nz |
I participated in a rally in Brooklyn last night that was organized by ORA.
ORA (Organization for the Resolution of Agunot) works with husbands who refuse to give their wives a Jewish Divorce, a get. Usually, men withhold the get as a lever to get more out of their ex: whether it is money, custody, or purely to extend control and make their ex miserable.
The aguna issue is one of those halachic toughies. The man has control of the divorce…
It is encouraging to see organizations that work with Halacha to help women obtain their freedom.
I heard rumors of how Satmar deal with the men in their community who refuse to grant divorce certificates. In the middle of the night, five big Chassidim (the type one doesn’t want to mess with) confront this abusive get-refusing individual in a dark alley. They remind him very sweetly that a woman can be freed in two ways: either her husband grants a get, or he dies. Then they give the man ten seconds to decide. Nine, eight, seven… But hey, the Satmar Chassidim get their gets.
We stood outside the house of the husbands’ uncle, who is a respected rabbi in the community. He is supporting his nephew in the get refusal by telling him to hold out until he gets what he wants. Oh, did I mention that this man has refused a get for two and a half years and is not budging in his decision. He wants full custody over their child. He wants to make sure the mother will have no visiting rights. He is ‘punishing’ his wife for daring to divorce him.
We stood there with signs screaming STOP THE ABUSE, FREE YOUR WIFE, and GIVE HER A GET for an hour straight. Neighbors came out of their houses and started asking about the divorce. The shades in the house were closed. We saw them shutter at one point, and later the shutter opened slightly and someone from the house started snapping pictures. It was a peculiar scenario.
ORA hung up signs on the lampposts of the street with a picture of the husband (or ex-husband) as a form of social pressure, hoping that the husband will grant the divorce already.
As the rally began to dissemble, I saw a young man walking briskly, ripping down the signs from the lampposts. I ran over to him and said.
--Excuse me, are you related to the man on the posters?
--No,-- I could tell he was lying, his voice was so shaky, he was nervous. I found out later that he was the brother-in-law.
--So what are you doing?--I asked.
--You are polluting the neighborhood with these signs.--He said and practically started running.
--You should be ashamed of yourself!—I screamed after him.
--You should be ashamed,--he responded.
I felt like saying so much more. He was supporting abuse, in essence becoming an abuser himself. I felt like asking him if he was the polluting policeman and telling him that in that case I was the get police and he was arrested. I couldn’t talk, I was so stunned.
I wanted to scream. I was hot, my cheeks were flushed and I felt my heart beating.
This rally opened my eyes to an issue I wasn’t entirely aware of.
I strongly encourage becoming a soldier in the peaceful war for freedom.
