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Did you ever feel like you fell for a trap in a dating situation? Care to share?
This post is a continuation of Dating With Chutzpadik Audacity.
After hearing such a blunt request for me to change my opinion, I decided to have an open mind.
I mulled over it for a day and decided to go for it and give the awesome young man another shot and see what happens next.
I called him up.
He didn't answer.
I sent him a text to let him know I would be happy to go out again.
He called me a few hours later and told me that he thought about it more as well and does not think we should go out again.
Uch on me. You know why? Because had I stayed adamant about what I wanted, I would not have been rejected.
And I have friends who would rather be rejected, than reject. I am not one of them.
I like to have more of a handle on what happens.
I told my friends and family about this and they started laughing.
"Tania," my friend said. "You always fall for those traps. Over and over and over again."
And although I was frustrated, I couldn't help but join in the laughter and wonder at what a situation I have created.
There is a famous saying: "Fool Me Once, Shame On You. Fool Me Twice Shame On Me."
This happened to me recently as well when someone I previously went out with asked me if I felt like catching up over a cup of coffee.
I liked the guy when we were going out and was upset by the break-up but I wasn't sure whether I felt like "catching up".
I had no idea what he had in mind. Whether it would be just a friendly coffee situation, or if it was a try to meet again and see if it goes anywhere.
(follow with me in the lomdus please)
If it was to just catch up as friends then I was not sure whether I could ever be or would be interested in being friends with him. And in general, except for maybe two scenarios, I was never able to be friends with someone I had gone out with. Thus, as you can see, I am slightly unsure of my position as is expressed in an earlier post Let's Just Be Friends. But he was an interesting person, so it could have been fun to just catch up.
Now if he had something more serious in mind, then I really had no idea if I wanted to start a relationship anew, open up to getting hurt. again.
After much thought and deliberation, I decided that I was putting too much thought and deliberation into this and told myself. Girl, CALM DOWN. It is just a cup of coffee. Then I wrote to him saying that I'd be up for coffee.
And then....
And then, my friends, nothing happened. Never heard from that being again.
And I spent days asking myself. Why did I ever respond in the affirmative?
It feels like a trap. Someone extends their hand for you to hold onto and later use it to slap you across the face.
Then there were also the cases where I really did not want to go out with someone again, but the Shadchan spent half an hour convincing me to go out again until I finally gave in to give it another shot, only to have HIM DUMP ME on the next date!
