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| Image: http://seemslegit.com |
Churchill said about democracy: “Democracy is the worst form of government …except for all the others...”
I would say the same about shidduchim…
Before the dates begin, the guys have the upper hand. Their phones usually ring off the hook, and for every thirty phone calls a guy gets, the girl gets one.
However, there is one advantage for the female.
Since she is only contacted once the guy agreed to go out with her, she does not know if she is rejected or not. If she looks into a guy and agrees to go out with, he is practically obligated to go out with her. And then she doesn’t have to experience rejection.
And that is precisely why I absolutely hate it when people try to push a guy down my throat before he responds in the affirmative.
I get this often.
Shadchan: I have this amazing guy for you to meet.
Tania: Did he agree to go out with me?
Shadchan: I didn’t speak with him yet.
Tania: So get back to me when he says yes, and I’ll be glad to consider your idea.
Shadchan: I totally understand. The reason I thought of him for you is because he is so……
And it goes on and on and on
Someone suggested a guy for me to go out with. I asked if he was asked about me.
The answer was no. I said that I don’t want to hear more until he gets back to the shadchan. The shadchan kept on telling me about the guy despite my protests. Eventually, and for whatever reason the guy said no.
Forward a few months: I am at an event and I meet a guy. He tells me his name.
I smile: “You know who I am.”
Guy: No, I don’t. He is thinking to himself: “Who is this crazy girl?”
I mention a few distinctive character traits of mine.
He smiles uncomfortably.
I smile at him: “Trust me. I wish I didn’t know who you were.”
I think this comes from the need a person has to be recognized for his/her brilliant idea.
Not at my expense please.
Thank you.
