You Are Amazing Just The Way You Are

A byproduct of being in Shidduchim is the destruction of self confidence. Perhaps dating accentuates the lack of self confidence that was there to begin with.

Often, after hearing the ‘NO’ from the Shadchan or from the date itself (not sure which one is worse), the initial reaction is to say: Why? What is wrong with me? What did I say? Did I wear the wrong thing? Did I weigh too much? Did I say too much? Did I not say enough? Was I not sweet enough? Was I too sweet? Was it the joke I did not laugh at? Was it the fact that I mentioned a second cousin who is no longer religious? Did I sound too closed minded? Too liberal? What was it that ended it?

I have seen people and I myself have suffered from this “I know it’s me” disease. There is a remedy though. It is a change in outlook. If someone rejects you, it is because they are seriously deranged, mentally retarded, have unresolved issues, or possibly they might just not be the right person for marriage.

In any case, remember. You are amazing JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

Below is a song by Bruno Mars “Just the way you are.” Although the words are quite shallow, they deliver a message that rings deep.