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Okay. So we all heard that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
I asked Ish Yehudi if this is true and he told me that indeed it is true.
He responded with the BIG 5 every woman should know about men.
I asked Ish Yehudi if this is true and he told me that indeed it is true.
He responded with the BIG 5 every woman should know about men.
1) Men are different than women. Different, as in, not exactly the same (this has nothing to do with having valuing men and women equally). Don't expect him to think, feel or react like you. Which means, by the way, that if you want to build connections, there may be different ways that women and men build them. For example, many women really enjoy talking, whereas many men just like to spend time together (and perhaps engage in activities together), which may not be as important in building connections (for him) as having long, detailed, personal conversations about everything (which may be important to you). What makes guys best buds and women the closest of girlfriends often isn't the same thing. So when you take one of each, why would you expect the connections to be built just one way or the other? It takes work to connect with the other person in ways that they really connect to the world around them. In a certain sense, that's the essence of a relationship/marriage.
2) Never, ever, ever frocefully take the "leadership reins" from him (which is different than being assertive or leading in particular areas where you have expertise/experience). Even if he seems like he doesn't have a plan or doesn't know what he is doing (or seems incompetent), taking charge can communicate a lack of trust, admiration or valuing him. Men tend to think in terms of a pecking order, or a hierarchy, and so taking charge, telling (commanding) him what to do, or doing something instead of allowing him to take the reigns may feel emasculating and/or insulting. If you can express or show confidence on his ability to make good decisions, take the lead, make plans, etc. it can be much more supportive of him (and his manhood), thereby encouraging him to do so (and making him feel more manly in the process). Along with that, of course, is the art of making suggestions. I still find it interesting that many women will freely offer suggestions to one another, but then when it comes to their significant other, they're barking orders. It's comparable to the way y'all want us to be supportive of your feelings, to listen and encourage and create a comfortable atmosphere so that you can express them (without fear of being rejected or put down for them). Most of the time, women really DON'T want to be told what to do, or how to fix it... which is, in many ways, similar. If he has trouble or doesn't take to leadership well initially, he can learn... or, if you're not feeling it, let him go. And isn't it attractive when a man takes leadership anyways?
3) Many guys are not taught how to take responsibility in relationships, and it may seem "easier" for him to avoid, especially when the potential for hurt is present. Whether that's his own pain or the potential to cause any pain to you, because of deep social conditioning he may rationalize ways to avoid breaking up or having conversations that bring up pain. If he doesn't call, it's not because of you, it's a reflection of him. I think it's unfortunate, and some guys just need to be shown that a woman's emotions (or his own) don't spell doom. I can't count the number of times I was told to "be nice" to avoid arguments/frustration/pain instead of being empathetic and understanding. I believe men can learn the difference, but they may need some guidance.
3) Many guys are not taught how to take responsibility in relationships, and it may seem "easier" for him to avoid, especially when the potential for hurt is present. Whether that's his own pain or the potential to cause any pain to you, because of deep social conditioning he may rationalize ways to avoid breaking up or having conversations that bring up pain. If he doesn't call, it's not because of you, it's a reflection of him. I think it's unfortunate, and some guys just need to be shown that a woman's emotions (or his own) don't spell doom. I can't count the number of times I was told to "be nice" to avoid arguments/frustration/pain instead of being empathetic and understanding. I believe men can learn the difference, but they may need some guidance.
4) Guys have this tendency to need space if/when they feel like they're getting really close with a woman. It's the way they deal with the sense of losing themselves that can come with attraction/infatuation/love. Being patient and waiting a short time for him to rediscover himself and how much he likes you is much better than clinging to him, badgering him or pushing him away.
5) The absolute worst thing you can do in dating is criticizing or minimizing a guy's dreams or passions. Generally any kind of criticism can feel like it tears away at his value, especially regarding his achievements (work, school, etc). In the long term, a woman who is critical or expresses herself in ways that put him down is termed a "nag," and that's one of the most difficult things for a man to live with. Think of it this way if you must, every time a woman criticizes or devalues any of a man's achievements or goals, it is to him as hurtful as when a man tears away and criticizes the core of who she is and how she values herself. In simpler terms, it's worse for a guy than calling a woman fat or ugly. Conversely, if she expresses admiration and appreciation in those things... it's fantastic.
Basically, Ish clarified a bunch of things for me. Because of what I read above, all my doubts and confusions were resolved.
Next time a guy doesn't call, I will know with certainty that he either likes me or he doesn't.
Amazing. Thanks friend (you know who you are and I assume you'd like to remain anonymous)
Since I am a woman, I would like to know from the men out there if this is accurate or if this is specific to Ish alone.
Basically, Ish clarified a bunch of things for me. Because of what I read above, all my doubts and confusions were resolved.
Next time a guy doesn't call, I will know with certainty that he either likes me or he doesn't.
Amazing. Thanks friend (you know who you are and I assume you'd like to remain anonymous)
Since I am a woman, I would like to know from the men out there if this is accurate or if this is specific to Ish alone.
