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| Image: http://www.jhbinternational.org |
I had an interesting back and forth with Ish Yehudi where we discussed the differences between males and females and their perspectives on dating.
We both committed to write a piece on cross cultural dating and its effects on those involved.
Here’s my theory in a few sentences.
Ashkenaz-Sephardic marriages working out successfully are the exception to the rule when both sides are affiliated with their culture.
I understand that the above statement can be controversial, especially coming from me. And I’ve gone out with a number of Sephardic young men myself.
The cultural differences are so deep, that a woman coming from an ashkenazic background with a certain set of values would find herself abused in a relationship, where the Sephardic woman would see that as natural and “the way things are done.”
I’ll give a few practical points to bring this concept down to earth.
(All of the examples are true stories that I heard from numerous individuals)
1) A Sephardic woman would see no problem with the man of the family being in charge of funds, and he would give her an allowance when needed.
2) A Sephardic woman almost never expects her husband to help with chores in the house. The roles are much more polarized
3) In a Sephardic marriage, there is much more of “The Man The King” mentality.
Now this is not to say that there are no exceptions to the rule, and that there are no Ashkenazic circles with similar backgrounds.
And also, a marriage between a Sephardic woman and Ashkenaz man has a better chance of working than Sephardic man with Ashkenaz woman.
For more on inter-dating, see Culturally Speaking.
