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| Image: http://www.thedatingrulebook.com |
How do you feel about silences on dates? Do you most often refer to them as awkward silences?
I once met a drama professor who related the following story.
He was on a date with a girl who we shall name Sari.
Now every time there was a silence on that date, she would look at professor and say: "OHAAWKWARD."
Professor was quite fed up but acted like a gentleman until the evening came to a close.
As he dropped her off, she looked at him and said: "Will you call me?"
He smiled and said: "Awkward!"
And in case you were wondering, he ended up marrying somebody else.
When I started dating I had this fear of emptiness and silence. At the first sense of discomfort I would jump in with a marathon of questions, stories and jokes to clog up the quiet that threatened me.
Over time, I came to terms with the fact that:
1) Silences happen.
In the span of life, there will be moments without conversation. Use them to breathe.
2) It is the guy's responsibility to keep the conversation flowing.
I am not advocating that girls become unresponsive logs and spend evenings staring into space. I recommend going with the flow.
My silence theory got me to the point where I was on a date and in no mood to be proactive. The conversation did not flow. And I was too tired to be bothered. So I just walked and enjoyed the scenery without paying much much attention to the stranger walking next to me.
It actually was quite enjoyable. I am not sure which part of I-don't-think-this-will-lead-to-marriage he didn't understand.
Bkitzur, Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
