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| Image: ewishj.pmhclients.com |
An argument I got into with RJ and CS.
RJ: Basherts are predestined... 40 days before yetziras havlad [a child is conceived], a voice calls out: Daughter of So-and-So to Son of So-and-So.... clearly our basherts were allocated to us long ago.
TJG: Yeah, well, there is also a gemara stating that at every stage in life a person has a different potential bashert.
RJ: But Rav Moshe Feinstein says: whoever believes their spouse was always their bashert is blessed. Whoever doesn't will suffer.
CS: Personally, I wouldn't take that Gemara too seriously.
TJG: Yeah, CS, that helps. Just discard the gemaras you don't like. That will get us real far in non-apikoresville.
RJ: Basically, just believe it's your bashert and you'll be fine.
TJG: And what about Rav Shach who says that almost any girl can make it work with any guy? Doesn't sound exactly predestined bashertlike to me....
And anyway, if I ended up doing something else in life, I would probably end up with a guy different to the guy who would be in my life now...
And perhaps the message of Rav Moshe was that one shouldn't be married with the attitude that they are stuck with the wrong person. After the commitment, believe that you were meant to be or chose to be with this person (with exclusion of abusive cases or other cases where divorce is necessary). Just thinking, in a JewGirl way.
Anyhow, I was wondering if you believe that your bashert is predestined and that you have to find him or that you choose your marriage partner and then make it work...
