 |
| Image: http://agbeat.com |
The more charedi the dating system goes, the more involved the Shadchan is in the dating system.
The Shadchan speaks between both parties to set the dates up.
Some shadchanim are still setting the 7th and 8th dates.
If one of the youngsters has a concern, he/she discusses it with the shadchan.
And many of my friends will tell the shadchan when they are ready to pull the plug and marry the person they are dating, and the shadchan will check with the other side to see if they are as ready as the rest of the crew and whether popping the question should be done the next night or three nights from now.
The shadchan's involvement prevents the dating individuals from communicating with each other. If they were to discuss things directly, they would get into disagreements, and many would not get married in the end.
Therefore, if people are to marry, the involvement of matchmakers in the shidduch process is absolutely vital.
Often times, parents will look into the prospective match, there will be just enough dates to see if there is a possibility to spark chemicals between the two, and walla, then there is the engagement followed by the most intense gedarim and separation to prevent any fights from chas veshalom erupting all under the guise of shomer negiah protection, and then the couple gets married, and then... life starts.
Issues come up, and fights break out, but hey, don't worry. The couple is married already. They're stuck with each other for better or worse. They'll figure it out.
Basically, without Shadchanim, people would never end up getting married.
