
picture (https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd3vmHsmZQCdRXbgh5R62NVTse3m2HbM_6SC9PdxyvXoLDzxWZnB_eQzge8_49vETA0SAYLLnGEs58PLXA9zcxzcuIwPvU849RcNb8I2mCBrFO89Sxkoss_NWxnQn8F3WWsYwRkpc21UM/s400/blind_date02.png)
There is a market out there with products for sale, customers and salesmen. The sales proceed smoothly in the case that all roles are acted out properly.
Product for Sale: Girl
Salesman: Shadchan
Customer: Young man
America is the land of consumers market. It is not communist, and therefore, there must be a surplus of products for customers to choose from. That is why for each guy out there, twenty girls are lined up waiting to kiss the heels of his feet.
Products vary. Girls can be chosen dependent on their height, weight, family background, eye and hair color, intellect and qualities.
The job of the salesman is to find the young man the product his choice, i.e. his bashert. The business works like real estate, where the Shadchan gets paid on commission, every time he/she scores an engagement.
Now every young man is looking for the perfect young lady: smart, beautiful, kind, great family, lots of money….
The difficulty of the Shadchan is that the products the customers want do not exist, because girls, although they are products, are imperfect, for they are manufactured by G-d. So the Shadchan has the challenging task of convincing a guy to go out with someone who is not exactly ‘his perfect girl’.
Once the Shadchan does coerce a guy into going out with a girl because although she is 5’1, she is extremely sweet, and although she isn’t the nobel prize winner, she is definitely smart enough (to cook cholent….), and she has the looks of an amazing person (whatever that means), and her parents live extremely comfortably (in a condo with a dog), the guy agrees to go on a date, but only one date.
Then, please keep in mind, that the shidduch markets is one of the only ones selling human beings, so the Shadchan goes to the product, i.e. the girl and tells her that she must give this guy a try, because he is just one in a million.
Although the girl has been sitting by her phone for the past eighteen years, reciting tehillim, waiting for that fateful call from the Shadchan, she doesn’t want to sound too excited for the fear of Chas Veshalom sounding desperate. So she asks the Shadchan about him:
(please keep in mind that brackets include thoughts only)
--Is he smart?
--He has a great head (for a hat rack)
--Does he learn?
--He has a great head
--I understand, but does he set time to learn?
--As I told you already, he has a great head.
--Is he tall?
--I would definitely say he is taller than you (I think he reaches 5’2 with his hat on. What does she want already, for me to set her up with someone who isn’t Jewish?)
--Is he good looking?
--{Super Enthusiastic Voice} He looks extremely manly! (i.e. he is really fat, and has hair coming out from between his first and second shirt button, and hair in his nose and ears)
--Is he neat?
--Well, I was never in his room, how do you want me to know that? (Basically, he is a pig)
--Is he nice?
--He gives off a very nice impression (for the five minutes that I saw him)
--Does he have plans for supporting a family?
--You know what darling {in an irritated voice}, details you will just have to find out for yourself!
The girl is perplexed, but this definitely sounds like an amazing guy, so she agrees to go out.
The guy is so nervous before the date. The palms of his hand are covered in a cold sweat as he keeps undoing and redoing his first button, trying to understand if he should look official or cool, not that the button will really help “nerd” within him go away. He arrives by her front door ten minutes early, but since guys can’t be early, he drives around her block thirty three times and finally pulls over fifteen minutes too late.
He knocks on the door. Every minute seems like eternity. Finally, he hears footsteps. The door opens and there stands a gorgeous young girl. Young man is mesmerized.
--You are here to see my sister?—she smiles.
The young man can only nod. He has no idea what to say.
He looks toward the dining room where his date awaits him. With every ounce of strength that is left in his body, he keeps the smile pasted on his face, silently cursing himself out for not running in the other direction when the Shadchan told him that the girl he was going to date looked “healthy”, she only weighs about three hundred pounds. And her nose is just from shir hashirim, as it resembles the Babylonian tower protruding gracefully from between the girls’ eyes.
They leave the house and start talking. Life is not that bad after all and the two have a pleasant conversation. The girl is extremely spiritual, so she can look past his ugly ‘manly’ looks and appreciate his inner qualities, while the young man, well, he is still a man, and he just doesn’t feel the chemistry, and it is not because he forgot to bring a formula from the lab. So after the date, he waits twelve hours, because, after all, who calls the Shadchan immediately? It’s not like he was thinking of her or anything.
--Hi, Mrs. Shadchan, thanks for setting us up, but the girl is not for me.
--Why not? I had such a good feeling.
--Well, she was not wearing any make-up
--You know what, it’s extremely important to know a girl the way she is, without any external distractions.
--No, and she was not really my type
--But why? She is exactly what you are looking for. You think you are looking for one thing, I am telling you, what you really need for happiness in life is to marry this girl.
--Thank you, but no, although she is a wonderful person.
--And that is why I think you should go out again!
--Mrs. Shadchan. Thank you, she is not for me.
--Well, it’s your loss.
The Shadchan calls the girl with a heavy heart and informs her that it’s over. The girl breaks down in sobs because her entire future is now ruined and the man of her dreams refused to love her in response. She begs the Shadchan to tell her what she did wrong, what she should change, to no avail. The young man does not want to go out with her anymore.
That’s the saga of the shidduch date and why the shidduch scene is actually a market.