Yehi Ratzon for Many Dates

Image: http://strongertogether.coop

We eat a fish's head to be in the lead and not in the tail.
We eat pomegranates to have as many merits as the seeds.
We eat an apple in honey to have year that's good and sweet.

And we eat dates to have many dates in the coming year.

Too bad there is no minhag to eat corn for my corny joke.

Wishing you a meaningful year.

Enough Movies

Image: http://www.cartoonstock.com

Sometimes you make a statement about your life only to have someone older say: I've seen enough in my life to know it isn't so.

A practical example would be: 

Young Person: I met with this guy a few times. And we talk every night until two am, but it's 100% platonic.

Older Person: Darling, I have lived long enough to know there are no real platonic relationships.

I heard something recently which totally blew my mind. 

I told someone about a dilemma in a relationship that I was experiencing. 

And the response was: "I have seen enough movies to know that life doesn't turn out a certain way."

Oh My Word, for real? Enough movies?

Are movies meant to copy our lives or are our lives mimicking movies?

First Marry Then Date

Says Rabbi Teller.

Oh, Those sweethearts in Teaneck who date for three years...

Could This Blog Find A Shidduch For My Daughta..?

What Makes You Feel Vulnerable?

Image: http://www.islandvulnerability.org

What Makes You Vulnerable?
Or in general, what cause vulnerability and is it necessary?

A Few Words About Nerds



Image: http://justin.orgfree.com/


Is it better to be a nerdy male or a nerdy female?

I think it is way better to be a nerdy male, because there are plenty of awesome girls out there who think nerdy guys are just ADORABLE and I haven't seen too many guys express themselves that way about nerdy girls.

To my pleasant surprise, I see lots of cool and funky girls going for dorky or nerdy guys.

and Bill Gates said: "“Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.”

Break Even

Take a relationship that did not last that long.
Let us say I went out with this guy three four times and it ended.
I could have even gone out once or twice and it did not work out.
And then it is over and people think there is no emotional investment, it was quick and clean.

And I know that objectively, it was not a "relationship"
And I know that somewhere down the road if someone asks about me he will say:
"Oh yeah, great girl, we went out a couple of times..."
And that is fine, and I've done it to others and it happens.

But somewhere deep down for me it was different.
Maybe for me it wasn't just an in and out.
Maybe for me, I felt a connection, I felt like there was something there.
Maybe for me the fact that the dating period was short doesn't negate the fact that there was potential which was never realized.

In the movie "You've Got Mail" Joe Fox puts Kathleen Kelly out of business by building a huge store across from her little cozy bookshop. He chats with her and tells her that that is business and it isn't personal.
Kathleen bursts into tears and screams.
"When you say "It isn't personal" all you are saying is that it isn't personal to you. It might be very personal to me!"

And I say: This might have meant something to me! Don't discount my feelings.

It is hard to know that you mean nothing to someone who meant something to you. As the Script put it:

Our hearts don't break even...
I'm hung up while you're ok

And as Coldplay sing in the scientist:

Nobody said it was easy...
Nobody said it would be this hard...

Only someone who has been through this can truly understand. 

To the Boy Who Can't Commit (and his girlfriend)

Image: http://media.redgaloshes.com

Dear Boy Who Can't Commit,

I wanted to talk to you some time already.

Did you watch Srugim at all? There is this episode where a young woman wants to set up a boy with a girl. "They would be great together!" she says, "They are the same type."
Her husband looks at her with raised eyebrows and says: "What type? The type that never marries?"

Besides for the fact that I was addicted to Srugim in the near past and that I think the show captures some scenes from the Jewish singles Orthodox community so accurately, sometimes I felt like I was watching a show about myself (except that the girls in Srugim wore longer and flowing skirts... and spoke in Hebrew).

Relationships are interesting things. But you probably noticed that in the 8+ years of your life that you spent dating. And you also probably have the experience to understand that the relationship you currently have with your girlfriend is one with potential.

Your girlfriend is a gorgeous, funny, smart, witty, accomplished and independent young woman.

At some point in dating (relatively Orthodox ;), a couple reaches a point where the next step is a commitment. It is a certain point where you know what you like about her, what bothers you, what the issues are and how you feel about them. It is a point where "You Know What You Know." Going out longer in such a case without proactively moving forward is essentially moving backwards.

You have been going out for over a year. You know, if both of you would be totally comfortable dating forever without a commitment, that would be fine. That isn't the case though in your situation and you know it. You know that if you would propose now, she would say yes. You know that if you would have asked her last week, she would have said yes, you know that had you asked her six months ago, she would have said yes. And you know that somewhere deep down she waits every day for you to say: "Darling, I want you to be my wife."

The truth is it pains me to see this unfold. I wonder: do you know you are never going to marry her and are just avoiding the break-up by delaying the proposal? Are you not admitting it to yourself?
Because if you know you aren't going to marry her, LET HER GO and SET HER FREE so that she could meet someone who will become her husband.

If you can't stand the idea of letting her go, marry her. Marry her now.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who's Watching

Flowers Aren't Enough

Flowers aren't enough is a one-woman show on marital abuse in the Orthodox Community.
Quite powerful and definitely worth watching:

Part 1:


Part 2:


Part 3:

Mentalities Affect

Image: http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/

Different mentalities, different personalities, different ages, different countries, different religious groups, different social settings...

I guess I just got carried away

Where were you carried to?

I am not really sure.

Something happened but what was it

Do you like Jewish music? How about Russian music? American pop? You sure?

It’s funny—people think that I grew up in one place, was educated in another, and that in essence I am an altogether different person.

And the truth is: I am all of those things. I cannot negate one part of my background or of my education. I am some complicated compilation of the most various mentalities, cultural settings, approaches to education, religion and relationships. And although there are parts of my life which I wish would not have affected me, I am a product of my experiences. And in some way, I am and desire a bit of everything I have ever lived through in my life. 

I have or used to have this assumption that the more western approach where couples date for a solid period of time before making a commitment was the correct approach. Arranged marriages are practically synonymous with forced marriages. 

I was raised in a culture where it was not uncommon for the following scenarios to occur:

A man told his son: you are X years old. You should be married. Enough fooling around. The next girl you go out with, you marry. He did marry the next girl he went out with and he seems to have a beautiful family. 

Or a mother found a girl that would be appropriate for her son who kept on dating and not finding his soul mate. She made sure that they spent enough time together, until the guy noticed the girl and took her out. After they were dating for while he knew that he liked her. He was not sure though. 

So the mother arranged his engagement without him knowing. And once he was engaged, he felt uncomfortable breaking the engagement. To make a long story short, he is married today, they are an adorable and happy couple and he thanks his mother every single day for making him take that step.

It sounds foreign, but I do not know if it is always so off. Here watching people go out endlessly without commitment, fight and then get married to have ordinary marriages most of the time. 

Why should one be better than the other?

On Girls Asking Guys Out

Image: http://www.mikethemasterdater.com

This is the question I want to see you answer: Can and should a girl ask a guy out?

Last year I was invited to speak at an SCW panel for women of interesting backgrounds which I was happy I qualified for. There were about four students: we babbled about our lives, how much we love Stern, what we were planning on doing once we moved on to the next world.

The last question was shot at us: anything to add?

The girl next to me on the panel shot her arm up.
"If there is one thing in the world every girl should do, it is to ask a guy out!"

 There was silence. and then I said: "I did! I asked a guy out. He said NO."

"Well, that's even better," she said. "You got to do it and you do not have to suffer the consequences."


I asked a guy out. I will never ask a guy out again.
It took awhile for me to come up with this theory and although it might change within the next few minutes, I will explain how I came up with it.

Despite the fact that I am a twenty first century girl and that I believe that women should vote, and that women have a right and duty to be educated,  I believe that a man should be a man, and if he notices a woman he likes he should step up to the plate and ask her out.

Now if you are a friend of mine and heard hours of my convincing you to ask a certain guy out, you might be reading this post in total shock thinking that I am a two-faced jerk.

I am not.

The reason I tell you to ask these guys out is because the friendship is usually extremely undefined and is unclear fluctuating between platonic and romantic relationships. In that case it drives people crazy to second guess themselves every two seconds and reread chats every five minutes. Does he like me? Well, why did he chat me at 2:35 PM. I mean no one would do that if they weren't completely obsessed with me. Right? And look, he didn't say the formal "hello", he said "hi". Forget it! He must be planning our entire future together.
In that case ASK THE FREAKING GUY OUT and END THE MADNESS. He will probably say "NO" because if he did want to go out with you he would ask you out, and if he didn't have the guts, well then he just isn't man enough for you.

But at least you will be standing on clear grounds.

That is my two cents. It is fine if you disagree just tell me why.

BFS

Image: http://badforshidduchim.files.wordpress.com

-I am shocked that BFS didn't become a term yet like BNB, IY"H, B"H, IYB"Y did. 

BFS stands for Bad For Shidduchim and the term was taken successfully by the famous blogger who stands out in the world of Single Orthodox Bloggers as www.badforshidduchim.wordpress.com

I am waiting for the day when I will pass by in gardens of Israel and hear one Jew tell another: "How could she do that, it is like so totally BFS..."

The Dating Fortress

Image: http://www.castlemania.han.ks.ua

Remember those walls I've built?

Well they aren't tumbling down and I have this theory that any guy I go out with unsuccessfully, I add another few layers of brick to my fortress. 

At a certain point I am petrified, because I realize that people aren't dating people anymore. Or are they?

Fortresses are dating fortresses. And then they wonder why the sparks aren't flying, and why fireworks aren't erupting out of thin air. 

I went out with a guy, let's call him Jonathan. We go out a few times. Talk a lot. About lots of things, jokes, thoughts, different religious groups, different, countries, lots of jokes, you name it. 

And we kept on going out and out and out and out and you get the point... and after quite a few dates we were pretty much at the same point where we were at date one. 

And then he tells me: It's not going anywhere.

And I say: DUH! It's not going anywhere. Because we aren't taking it anywhere!

I didn't say it. Because I didn't feel like pushing it. 

But I was saddened by the realization that I was not willing to put myself out there and become vulnerable and get hurt because it happened one times too many and whatever his story was that I did not know and will never find out. 

So my question is... how does it happen to individuals who are seemingly so normal and wonderful and cheerful and friendly but who's  insides are guided with revolving swords?

Dating Confessions

Image: http://s2.hubimg.com

It sounds obvious, but it isn't...

I was dating this guy and it was getting really serious, it was our third date. Okay, that was a joke. But as we are reaching our destination on the right thanks to the brilliant gps that was guiding us, he pauses.
I hate those pauses close to the end of the date.
When you just want to go already because you are so tired and you can't...
because the guy has that look.
When I say that look, you know I am talking about the sad eyes which scream out: I am sorry about what I am going to do with you now, the corners of the lips face downwards. He keeps on averting your gaze. And then as if you could not sense the world crashing around you he says in the most morbid of tones that resembles the dull sound of the bells in the darkest of funeral homes: "I have to tell you something."

It is just like the Vayhi Bimey in Biblical texts which predicts tragedy, or the scary background music in the movie which makes you understand that the hero will be shortly under attack.

So that kind of spell was bound on me and all I wanted to do was grab my purse and run for the hills. But since I had no purse, and in the city there were no hills, I just stayed put in the car and clenched my teeth really tights, shut my eyes, and fit my head into my shoulders so that the attack should be leas painful.

Silence.

I open my eyes. What is it? I say in a voice so calm, I cannot believe it is emanating from my own throat.

I am waiting there impatiently preparing for the worse and thinking: "why, oh why, must that happen now when I am so exhausted?"

Anyhow, surprise of surprises, he doesn't say it isn't going anywhere, he doesn't say any of the cliche break-up lines.
He says: "A few years back, I rebelled slightly and I did some things a good Jewish boy shouldn't be doing such as watching movies (use your imagination for the rest)...."

Now I am sitting there as this guy pours his heart out to me and all that goes through my head in big bold letters is: "I AM YOUR DATE, NOT YOUR FREAKING PRIEST!" Why are you confessing all of your sins to me?

I read this article in the Jewish Week's singles edition, where a female rabbi (don't ask me of what denomination) expressed her disappointment with dating, because young men used dates with her as a platform to resolve their spiritual anguish.

Thinking about her and the prospect of me becoming a rabbi scared me to no ends so I decided to end that relationship then and there and I referred my now-ex to the nearest church. I think it might have still been open.

I have a dilemma here and was wondering what your opinion is?
On the one hand, as a relationship progresses, would one want a partner to open up and disclose all private information. Or should one keep potentially harmful information to him or herself dealing with it on his or her own and putting it behind?

P.S. If you are a friend of mine and want to go out with him you know where to find me. 

Shadchanim or Shidduchim: The Wolf or The Lamb

Being Both: The Wolf and the Lamb


What do you prefer in a dating context: being set up or setting up others?

Image: http://www.forgottenword.org/

The fact that I am a single woman who is searching for her second half who has single friends makes me into the dialectic human being. I am a being which has two sides to it. I am the matchmaker and at the same time the dater. There are two forces raging within me: that of the Isha Hashadchanit, and that of the Isha Baparasha. Both constitute opposing sides of the dating spectrum, and both coexist within me creating the conflict which has no solution, the being that has no harmony. While the Isha Hashadchanit is active, imposing matches upon others, forcing people to go out, to give it another shot, to be forgiving of shortcomings, the Isha Baparasha is cautious. Because of her very essence she cannot be active, she must be passive. She must wait for the phone call, she must not initiate, she must only respond. The Isha Baparasha pays attention to the detail and is not likely to let flaws pass.

Putting the Rav’s euphemisms aside, and on a more practical note, I have been on both sides of the dating spectrum, and I still am. I have set up many friends, one successfully. One of my best friends who my brother and I together set up with a wonderful young man is getting married to him in a few short weeks. That gives me much Nachas and joy.

When I try to get friends to go on dates, I can get so pushy. I begin to defy logic, start talking Kabbalah, soul mates. In my own head though, I am still myself. I am still the rational girl that thinks with her mind and does things which make the most of sense.

When I am on the other side, however, I look upon the Shadchanim as aliens. What are they thinking setting me up with so and so? How could they say that outlook on life doesn’t matter? How could they…

By understanding the conflict better, I hope to come to a better understanding of the components of my existence and maybe, just maybe, have some mercy on the other side when in any role.

Culturally Speaking

I wrote this play.

Image: http://static.guim.co.uk/

Cast:
Rabbi of Keniss (Sephardic congregation)
David Congregant
King
Prince 1
Prince 2
Narrator

Background: Keniss setting on Friday Eve (Shabbat or right before). One can hear the last Kaddish chanted. Men are congregating after Friday night services, the Mechitza is visible in the background. David (a man in his middle ages) puts his Siddur away after completing the prayers. Before heading out, he approaches the Rabbi at the front of the Shul and kisses his hand.

David: Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi [slaps him on the cheek]: Blessings my son, Shabbat Shalom. How are you?
David: Baruch Hashem, Yom Yom, life is good. My business is better than ever.
Rabbi: Your wife, your kids?
David: My wife is good... [David slows down... coughs, opens his mouth as if to say something, then changes his mind]
Rabbi: Your kids, how are they?
Silence
Rabbi: David, you have prayed here for twenty years, and I haven't seen you looking so concerned in a while.
David: Rabbi, It's my twenty-four year old, Joe.
Rabbi: Yes...
David: He is dating someone unfitting for him.
Rabbi: David, walk me home. I will tell you something.

David steps aside to allow other congregants to converse with the Rabbi.

Next Scene is Rabbi and David wearing coats walking out of the Keniss and down an empty, quiet, snowy, evening road.
They are seen talking from afar and camera zooms in in the middle of the conversation.

David: Joe met her at a communal evening event. He brought her home last week to visit the parents... [sigh] It's not that she's a bad girl. She isn't. She is sweet. She is smart. But she is different. She comes from an Ashkenazim family. I am nervous that the cultural differences will end up being too much of a barrier to cross. Joe is so in love, it is clear to anyone that he is not thinking with his head.

Rabbi: Do you have anything concrete you are basing this on.

David: Joe comes from a family where his father provided and his mother was a housewife. We raised him with certain values, with expectations. It is not respectful by us for a woman to go out and work if she does not have to. Talia, his girl, does not know of such things. She is in graduate school and is going to be a lawyer. She doesn't understand the importance of being at home to raise the kids like we do. She comes from a different world.

I keep on repeating this to Joe, but he does not listen. He says that he is more open, more modern.He says she will change. Once she has kids, he says, she will want to stay at home. Doesn't he understand that sons end up like their parents? That people do not change? Doesn't he understand that it will bother him when she will not accept her role as a traditional wife? Doesn't he!?

Rabbi strokes his beard in thought as they turn a corner.

Rabbi: Let me tell you a story. [flashback to a different time]
Once upon a time there was a king. The king had two sons. The king said to his sons.
[Imagery changes to a palace and king speaking to two sons]

King: My sons, you have grown to be wise men. It is time that you conquer the world. One of you shall go to the west, and one of you shall travel East.

Narrator (Rabbis voice) while imagery of ships and travels and different lands: The sons parted their ways and traveled and conquered different parts of the world.
When they returned back to the palace many years later they had been affected by their experiences. Despite the fact that they were of the same royal blood, there was the history of their lives that came between them.

Image of Rabbi and David walking again, approaching Rabbi's home.

Rabbi [opening the door to his house]: They are from one family, yet the cultural gap of many centuries comes between them.

Never Thought It Would Take This Long to Find an Apartment

What Apartments and Shidduchim Have in Common

Image: http://lh4.ggpht.com/

Apparently, life is never as easy as it seems. I approached apartment hunting the same way I approached shidduchim. Before I started, that is.

As a person graduating mid-year I had the challenge of searching to fill a spot in an apartment where most of the tenants are already settled. It was more difficult than I anticipated. I saw an ad online, called, arranged to see the apartment the next day.

I remembered hearing people complaining about apartments. How hard it was to find them, how difficult to decide on one, how to find the right roommates, how to negotiate the perfect price, the correct building, in the better neighborhood, by the preferred subway station.

This was all taken care of by me. The apartment seemed great. All I had to do was meet the roommates, see the place and sign the lease.

Well, Lo Haya Velo Nivra. Reality in fact was far from it. I went to see the apartment, and the girls. And to put it mildly. I could not live there. It has been a few weeks since then. I have contacted numerous potential roommate candidates since then, spoken with some, went to see many apartments, heard a great deal of advice... At least I know what questions to ask when I go to see apartments now.

I walked into one apartment and the young woman who was showing me around was extremely impatient. The apartment itself was nice: newly renovated building, tastefully furnished. She told me that they were forcing their present roommate out and that is why there was an opening. I asked why they were evacuating the apartment from the unwanted person. She informed me that the girl was extremely weird. When I asked for an example, she rolled her eyes and said: “She was extremely weird. Like, sometimes, she would sleep on the couch and sometimes, she would even open the windows!”

“Wow,” I thought to myself, never heard of anything as weird in my life. I would probably be forced out of the apartment within two minutes of living there.

Another apartment I went to see had awesome girls. That was the incentive. I came to see the apartment. What I saw was a living room which they offered me a part of to make my own room out of.

“And how exactly would I do that?” I asked. They told me it was my job to figure it out. An image came to my mind of myself standing in workers clothes full of paint trying to build a wall out of cement, sweat pouring down my forehead. Then another image of someone coming in the middle of the night and shifting my wall to make the living room bigger. Then I would wake up squashed between two walls. Additionally, the room had no lighting. With all due respect, I was searching to move into an apartment, not to build one for myself.

Then there was the realization. After having seen many apartments, I spoke with some girls about another room where I was informed of the fact that I had to buy a bed. Somehow, that information caught me completely by surprise and I ended up sobbing huge heart wrenching sobs in the middle of that apartment. What do you mean? Buy my own bed! I cannot do that!!! That is just too much.

It's funny that I approached shidduchim only a few years ago with the same mentality. I figured that I would avoid the picky craziness all those surrounding me spoiled themselves with and would marry the first guy I went out with. Yeah... that did not work out so well...

So, I am still searching... and I hope that someday I will figure those things out, find an apartment and all the things I long for....

Dumpee-Dumper Syndrome

Image: http://blogs.smh.com.au/

This flash of inspiration hit me just now as I was talking to a good friend mine and the second our conversation became more serious, she told me that she has to run.

I was so frustrated. This wasn't a one time thing.

Every time I got into a conversation with this certain person, the second it would get involved she would suddenly have to run in another direction. 

I tried a new tactic this time. Before my friend could tell me that she has to go, I smiled and said. Kisses, Mua Mua gotta run. Bye. 

Wow, I saw that she was upset. 

But why? Why should she be upset? She does it to me and everyone else all the time.

And I, as the self proclaimed dating doctor, have diagnosed her with the dumpee-dumper syndrome. 

A person cannot handle the idea of being dumped or in some way rejected by the other person, so the second there is a possibility of vulnerability, that person immediately dumps. 

You know what that is? That is simply immature. I get dumped all the time. That is life. Stay on that phone and finish the conversation as an adult. 

What is Next in the Pressure Cooker

Image: firstpersonsingular.org

I woke up this morning with a start. I glanced at my watch and jumped out of bed. It was late and if I did not get my act together, I would be late for work. I threw on my grey sweater which was elegant enough to wear to work, squeezed into my pencil skirt, and applied some basic level of make-up while brushing my teeth at the same time. As I was running for the door, I looked in the mirror. Shucks! My hair was all over the place, licking my fingers and running them through my hair, I muttered to myself that this morning, this will just have to do.


I ran outside and despite the fact that it was a cold autumn morning, I was sweating. I ran up the blocks of Manhattan, crossing on red when there were no cars, and when I had to actually stand and wait for the light to turn green again, my heart throbbed with anxiety. I saw my favorite Starbucks. Today I could not go in. Today I had no extra time. Today I would remain hungry.

As I was crossing one street, I saw a friend from college who had graduated. She was wearing a plaid jacket and a pencil skirt. She was deep in thought and was also looking at the traffic light expectantly. I screamed out her name. Perhaps an immature act, it caught her attention. She looked at me and smiled. The light turned green, we passed each other and kept on half walking half running to work.

I thought of how ridiculous this all was. Soon I would be doing this fulltime. I would be running to sit in front of a computer screen all day, then I would run on a treadmill which goes nowhere and then I would have to go to sleep only to do the same thing the next day.

This brings me to my next point. As far as I can remember, humanity has consistently been focused on the future. Although that is what allows for progress, focusing solely on the future does not allow a person to enjoy the present.

What are we all doing anyway? When we are kids, we cannot wait to be adults, when we go to school, we cannot wait for seminary, then college, then we want to start ‘real’ life, life at work, somewhere there we also want to get married, then we want to have children, then we want to send them to school, then we are dying, and still we think that we aren’t members of the true life. Real life always seems to be over the horizon, like the rainbow, real life is a virtue that we can never reach.

I wake up in the middle of the night haunted by nightmares of the future. Although I have a pretty clear idea of what I will do upon graduation from college, questions of living arrangements, what details my job will entail, where grad school will come into the picture plague me by day and night. Then I also wonder about marriage and whether I have that in store for me.

As if my internal pressure was not enough to drive me up the wall, almost every single person I meet seems to want to know what I am up to. After they find out that I am graduating in January, they all want to know what I am going to do afterwards. That just rubs salt into my wounds. Why can’t people let me enjoy my last semester in college for what it is and not make me feel like some illegitimate being for still being in college?

Just because I am in college for a few more months doesn’t mean I am out already.

What’s next? Wait a few months, and you’ll see for yourself. I can’t wait to find out where life will take me.

The best thing is that once I get to the next step in life, those around me will not be satisfied, they’ll just want to know what the next step after that.

One day, I’ll be working, and people will ask me if I am dating seriously, if I am, they will be waiting for my finger to be adorned with an engagement ring, then a wedding ring. Then they will stare at my belly waiting for it to bloat.

I say, enjoy today for today. And I must learn to love myself just where I am even though future plans should be somewhere in m head.

On that note, Shabbat Shalom.

The First Phone Call

A few words on the awkwardness of the first pre date phone call. And why with all of its awkwardness it is still the better alternative.

So the Shadchan recommends the guy to the girl and the girl to the guy, sings their praises up to the sky.

The guy and the girl research until they can fly, basically until they know what utensils the other uses for breakfast.

They agree to meet.

Now the Shadchan gives the guy the girls number, gives the girl the time he will call and she sets off to make more shidduchim.

The time of the phone call arrives. The girl is sitting in her room pretending to be reading when she is really looking at her phone expecting it to buzz any second. Every second seems like eternity and she is filled with anger and annoyance as every additional second passes by. She can't take this anymore. He is already two whole minutes late. She is going to call the Shadchan and tell her that she is not interested in the Shidduch because the guy is obviously an irresponsible lad.

The guy in the meanwhile is sitting in his room, waiting so that the he won't seem to anxious. Four minutes late, he is sweating from head to toe. He picks up his phone with and with trembling hands dials the number dropping the phone twice in the process.

Girl waits until the fifth ring, because of course she was very busy the entire time.

Image: http://tucsoncitizen.com/

--Hello?--She of course has no idea who this is
--Is this GIRL?--guy asks
--(No, this is her grandmother), Yes it is--she says
--Hi, this is Guy.
AWKWARD SILENCE

--Um, How was your day?--guy says.
--It was nice, thank you (no one cares), how was yours.
--Lovely, thanks for asking.

--Um... Um... I'm calling to see if you would go out with me.
--No way! I am shocked! You really want to go out with me? Why didn't I see this coming?--girl does not say but only thins to herself. Instead she says--Oh sure, do you want to meet in a few days.

--Perfect. See you then.
--Looking forward.--she says. She hears the dial and finishes--to when it's all over.