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As Orthodox Jews, we are pretty much expected to spend the rest of our lives with that one right person. Therefore, it is extremely important to be attracted to that person.
Now people have this expectation, or unwritten rule, that if a guy is not attracted to a girl, he should end it. But girls are usually expected to give it "another shot", to see if he grows on her.
A family friend of mine gave me some brilliant dating advice: "CHEESE CAKE DOES NOT HAVE TO GROW ON YOU."
In other words, you like cheese cake from the first bite. If you don't feel even a slight attraction to the person when you are going out with them, do not go out again. It is not fair to you and it is not fair to the person you are dating. Your bashert shouldn't have to be someone you got used to. He should be someone you look forward to seeing every day of your life.
Call me rude. Call me shallow. Call me mean (you know who you are)... I will marry someone I am attracted to (B"H of course).
I once set up an objectively good looking guy with a good looking girl. In the end, she did not think he was cute. I told her: "If you don't think he is cute, don't go out with him! He deserves someone who will be obsessed with his looks, not someone who settles for his looks."
We all deserve that.
People tell me that a guy won't go out with a girl on a second date if he isn't attracted to her.
I don't know if that is true? Do you?
I've experienced things that would sway me in the opposite direction.
Another couple I set up, and the problem was that the guy was too idealistic. He wasn't attracted to girl, but he didn't feel like it was a "good enough" reason to stop going out. They ended up dating for a few more months and the break-up was only more difficult.
I am not sure I know where I am standing on this issue one hundred percent. But I have gone out with really great guys in the past, who are objectively good-looking, but they just didn't do it FOR ME. And despite all the pressure, I opted out.
